The Blended Life

Bereavement, Being Black, and Back to School

  The day of Michael Brown’s funeral I stood in the bereavement card aisle. My three children danced and swirled about me pulling open cards that loudly played “We Are the Champions” or “Celebration” as I stood frozen, hands sweaty, with a card that read ‘We lost...

Crow, Hawk, and A Little Boy’s Pain

Crow, Hawk, and A Little Boy’s Pain

I was sitting in the hallway outside three classrooms overflowing with first graders. It was moments after morning exercise when it seems that the kids are most awake, engaged, and happy. Something about bopping along to 'Dynamite' together makes their brains release...

Helping Kids Through Trauma

The Blended Life has been quiet for the past month due to a serious accident in our family. All my time and strength has been invested solely on the home front to aid in the healing of my husband. As I look up from an intensely emotional and trying time I find that...

The Happiest Memory

She slipped the photograph between sheets of plastic to protect it, careful only to touch the sides of the picture. This girl whose clothes, used tissues, and eraser bits lay about her room in heaps, held the image cautiously and lovingly, like a newborn, tucking it...

Spring Break Staycation

My expectations have always been set fairly high for spring break vacation. This year I wanted to flee south for spring break. To sip something beachside and watch my kids play in the surf. But my husband went east and we stayed put. No sipping, no surf. {Let's all...

A Blended Life

My house is full of birthday celebrations this week which has left me short on writing time. I wish you a great weekend full of spring sunshine! Here are a few reads to keep you company. Two interesting articles by adoptees on reunion. The first by Liz Fields and the...

The Truth About Reunions

This week one of the trending topics on Facebook (and everywhere else) was the reunion of the "Burger King Baby" with her birthmother. Awhile back Katheryn Deprill took this photo of herself detailing what she knew about her abandonment as a baby in the bathroom of a...

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Blended Moments

As a mother I miss a lot. Sometimes I'm too tired or too frazzled, or honestly, too grouchy at times to see a great moment in my child. I realized that I pay more attention, am more present when I get one on one time with my children. Attempts to plan said one on one...

Diversifying Your Shelves – Book Smitten

Book-smitten. A word I coined with my kids when we fall in love with a book. For me, that book must contribute to our bookshelf - in story, diversity, and beauty. The power of diversifying your bookshelf is found both in your children seeing themselves on the written...

Bereavement, Being Black, and Back to School

  The day of Michael Brown’s funeral I stood in the bereavement card aisle. My three children danced and swirled about me pulling open cards that loudly played “We Are the Champions” or “Celebration” as I stood frozen, hands sweaty, with a card that read ‘We lost...

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights

Last week my daughter came home from middle school full of energy and with a look on her face that I recognized. She had connected with someone at school in a significant way. But you know tweens, I didn't want to push too hard, so I began guessing in my head just who...

On Mourning

Over the weekend we had one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had with my children. Motivated by the horrific crime in Connecticut yes, but also the shooting at our local mall in Portland last week, and the recent lockdown at three of our local schools...

The Blended Life Turns Three

Blended celebrated three years in the blogosphere this week! Three whole years since I thought, "You know I don’t read any dedicated blogs for multiracial Blended families" and then had the crazy idea of beginning one. Three years of blogging during naps, blogging...

The Truth About Reunions

This week one of the trending topics on Facebook (and everywhere else) was the reunion of the "Burger King Baby" with her birthmother. Awhile back Katheryn Deprill took this photo of herself detailing what she knew about her abandonment as a baby in the bathroom of a...

Oh The Blended Web…

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. What are you up to this weekend? It's rainy and gray in the NW (surprise!) so my girls are plotting and planning...

Interview with Rhonda M. Roorda – Part 1

Last week I reviewed In Their Siblings' Voices by Rita J. Simon and Rhonda M. Roorda which you can read here. This week Rhonda graciously agreed to be interviewed and I think you'll find her insights invaluable to Blended Families. She talks openly about her own...

Perfection and The Freedom Journal

Notes get sent home in her backpack. Notes from her teacher asking me to please help her speed up the process of writing; encourage her to move more quickly. I get assessment reports saying she is lagging behind the momentum of her class in her short moment story, and...

My Recipe for a Happy Halloween (Beware, You Might Not Like It)

Creepy, crawly, horror, scary, gross, and an excuse for an inappropriate Halloween? Nope. No thank you. That's not for me. I think I actually turned that literal corner back when I was a third grader crawling through a friend's 'haunted house' they created on their...

On Women Heroes

It’s hot. And when it’s hot outside, my kids hibernate inside. My non-loving-reading ten-year-old becomes a reader when it’s sweltering. If I find the right book and the temperature hits the right degree, the only place for her is downstairs in the coolest room...

A Letter To Those Who Exhaust Me

Dear State of Florida, The Onion, The Lady at Trader Joes, and Clerk at JCPenney, Oh my. I am having a mixed bag emotional day. So many things to think about this morning and to attempt to process and most of it leaving me a bit on the hopeless and angry side. First,...

Bonding and Attachment in Blended Families – Part 2

I am so fortunate to know other Blended families who have walked the same path as my family and have the capacity to talk openly about their personal experiences. My friend Amy, who is both a mother of a Blended family and a social worker, shares her continuing...