The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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How To Talk About The Hard Things {Or Eleven-Year-Old Sages}

I am the official Spring Break Chauffeur or “SBC” as I am enjoying calling myself. If you're at my house you might even hear me announce, “The SBC says it’s time to depart.” {Somehow using a title gets my kids moving toward the van instead of my usual boring mom...

The Mother’s Day Bruhaha

Every year as May rolls around I hear and read the same old things from those in the adoption community. For those unaware, May holds both Mother's Day and Birthmother's Day, separated only by one day. There are those in the adoption community that feel passionate...

Oh The Blended Web…

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. What are you up to this weekend? It's rainy and gray in the NW (surprise!) so my girls are plotting and planning...

10 Things I Have Learned About Blogging

Often I am asked about beginning a blog, sustaining a blog, or simply how to find the time to write at all. On the eve of Blended's blogaversary (that is the weirdest word ever) I have done a bit of reflection about both my writing life and more specifically, writing...

When Beauty is Both/And

It was 1991 when I read Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye for the first time. I have read it several times over the past twenty or so years as it always proves to instruct me in critical and deep ways. I went on to read all of Morrison’s texts and studied her with fervor...

Okay, Let’s Talk About Mitt Romney…

No, no this post is not political. At least, I don't intend it to be. Rather I want this post to be a rallying cry for understanding. Over the past few weeks, within the circles I run, Mitt Romney has been a rampant source of conversation. I will admit to you, that...

Oh, The Blended Web…

  This weekend brings both the beginning of fall and also our first big storm to the Northwest. So for this rainy weekend I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Have a great weekend! Denene Millner, of My Brown Baby, shares...

Sisterhood

Sisterhood. What a complex state of love and irritation those words hold in my household this summer! I have been sneaking around trying to capture THAT moment lately – the one full of tenderness and affection. A quiet moment of friendship and relaxed conversation...

Throwback Thursday: My Adoptive Parenting Top 10

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Every Thursday in November in honor of National Adoption Month I will host Throwback Thursday here at The Blended Life....

Helping Boston

In difficult times like these my world shrinks with alarming speed. Boston can seem so far away from where I sit in Washington state, and yet for someone who lived on the Eastern seaboard for so many years, upon hearing the devastating news yesterday, that great city...

Somewhere Between – a film

Adoption Mosaic in Portland hosted a free screening of Somewhere Between a few weeks back and I missed it! Never to fear though, faithful friend Netflix brought the film right to my door. Let me reiterate something I have said before in this space - I watch a lot of...

A True Sense of Family

The holidays always heighten my sense of family. The days are darker earlier and there is more time to sit beside the fire and snuggle and talk before my kids trail off to bed. Lately I have had long talks with my oldest daughter about what major she will choose when...

A Blended St. Patricks Day

A funny thing happened on St. Patrick’s Day. I realized with a jolt of happiness that my kids are comfortable in their individual ethnic identities. It was such a benign thing – sweet thing – funny thing that was happening for my girls that at first it didn’t...

Want to be a Feminist? Play the Trombone

She half ran half skipped through the pouring rain carrying what appeared to be a body bag. When she burst through the front door she shimmied from her backpack, kicked her shoes off without hands and shrugged her coat from her body arm by arm before sprinting the...

Throwback Thursday: The Value of a Birth Story

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Every Thursday in November in honor of National Adoption Month I will host Throwback Thursday here at The Blended Life....