The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

Subscribe via Email

Where Are the Girls?

My girls have a new favorite book. Each is taking a turn reading it, considering, and then just like girls from Jersey, they talk amongst themselves. Grace for President by Kelly DiPucchio is a book about an African-American girl who upon studying the presidential...

Bonding and Attachment in Blended Families

I am so fortunate to know other Blended families who have walked the same path as my family and have the capacity to talk openly about their personal experiences. Today I introduce you to my friend Amy, who is both a mother of a Blended family and a social worker. I...

Why I Read Essence (and you should too)

  Sometimes people do a double take. They see the overspill of magazines from my ‘magazine bin’ and turn back peering at the faces and names looking back at them from the covers. I have Portland Monthly in there yes, and my husband’s entrepreneurial rags espousing...

Blended Moments

As a mother I miss a lot. Sometimes I'm too tired or too frazzled, or honestly, too grouchy at times to see a great moment in my child. I realized that I pay more attention, am more present when I get one on one time with my children. Attempts to plan said one on one...

Oh, The Blended Web…

With far too much happening on the web I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Here's a list of what I'm reading and thinking about this week. A unique perspective on the Russia adoption ban from U.S. Paralympic athletes. Some...

Transnational Adoption and Third Culture Kids

I find great joy in the fact that Blended features perspectives and stories that don't often get heard in the adoption community. In this vein, I am happy to share this space today with my friend Glen Braden.  Glen, an adoptive dad, shares openly about how adoption...

Giveaway Winner!

Congratulations Karen S.! You have won "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria" by Tatum. Thank you to all of you who emailed and commented to celebrate Blended's First Anniversary!

Adding to your family through Embryo Adoption

I am often asked about Embryo Adoption (EA) and the addition of beautiful babes using EA to Blended families. I am no expert, so asked my friend Angela to write about her experience with EA and provide many of you with answers to your most common questions. I am...

Why I Taught My Girls To Say IF

I wrote this post back in May after hearing my girls playing, but did not publish it because I wondered if other parents would connect. In light of the Time article "The Childfree Life" back in August and the many fruitful discussions that have come from that piece I...

The Ever Requested Pretzel

Hot pretzels straight from the oven! In our house there are few things better than one of these beauties paired with a cold root beer. I kid you not, my children know when I have made these pretzels because they say they smell them in the air on the short walk home...

A Blended St. Patricks Day

A funny thing happened on St. Patrick’s Day. I realized with a jolt of happiness that my kids are comfortable in their individual ethnic identities. It was such a benign thing – sweet thing – funny thing that was happening for my girls that at first it didn’t...

Boredom Buster Sites for Kids

A few weeks ago I was featured over at The Chaos and The Clutter for my Boredom Buster Books post. I wanted to follow that piece with some amazing websites that will also engage, encourage and spur creativity in your kids this summer. These sites are basically like...

A Blended Snapshot

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Beginning a weekly ritual here in an attempt to share small moments from The Blended Life. Just a simple snapshot from...

Somewhere Between – a film

Adoption Mosaic in Portland hosted a free screening of Somewhere Between a few weeks back and I missed it! Never to fear though, faithful friend Netflix brought the film right to my door. Let me reiterate something I have said before in this space - I watch a lot of...

How To Talk About The Hard Things {Or Eleven-Year-Old Sages}

I am the official Spring Break Chauffeur or “SBC” as I am enjoying calling myself. If you're at my house you might even hear me announce, “The SBC says it’s time to depart.” {Somehow using a title gets my kids moving toward the van instead of my usual boring mom...