The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Julie Chen – Just Plastic Surgery or Racism?

All weekend long my thoughts have been about Julie Chen. Initially last week I wanted to write a knee jerk response to her ‘secret’ revelation that at 25 years of age she had plastic surgery to make her eyes look ‘less Chinese.’ Julie Chen, one of the hosts of 'The...

Spring Break Staycation

My expectations have always been set fairly high for spring break vacation. This year I wanted to flee south for spring break. To sip something beachside and watch my kids play in the surf. But my husband went east and we stayed put. No sipping, no surf. {Let's all...

Bonding and Attachment in Blended Families – Part 2

I am so fortunate to know other Blended families who have walked the same path as my family and have the capacity to talk openly about their personal experiences. My friend Amy, who is both a mother of a Blended family and a social worker, shares her continuing...

Crow, Hawk, and A Little Boy’s Pain

I was sitting in the hallway outside three classrooms overflowing with first graders. It was moments after morning exercise when it seems that the kids are most awake, engaged, and happy. Something about bopping along to 'Dynamite' together makes their brains release...

Summer Tans and Free Time

Oh my – summer is finally here! Its only the third full week of summer, but it seems to be whizzing by at record speed. My family kicked it off with out of town visitors, Vacation Bible School, a trip to the beach, and constant SWIMMING!  And again this summer the...

Perfect Posture

When I was a little girl my grandmother tried to work on my posture using the tried and true method of making me walk around the living room rigid with a book balanced precariously upon my head. In truth, it had little to no effect on my overall posture. However, it...

On Mourning

Over the weekend we had one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had with my children. Motivated by the horrific crime in Connecticut yes, but also the shooting at our local mall in Portland last week, and the recent lockdown at three of our local schools...

Oh, The Blended Web…

What are you doing this weekend? I am finishing Halloween costumes and picking pumpkins with these fall-minded kiddos of mine. What could be more fun than climbing in apple crates, over hay bales and getting lost in the corn maze? But after that I need to relax a...

Celebrating Lunar New Year With Kids

January 31st, 2014 is Lunar New Year (also known as Chinese New Year and Spring Festival). We celebrate each year with a visit to Lan Su Chinese Garden, attendance at local cultural events to see the always beloved Lion or Dragon Dances, lanterns, rolling fruit, lucky...

Why I Taught My Girls To Say IF

I wrote this post back in May after hearing my girls playing, but did not publish it because I wondered if other parents would connect. In light of the Time article "The Childfree Life" back in August and the many fruitful discussions that have come from that piece I...

Somewhere Between – a film

Adoption Mosaic in Portland hosted a free screening of Somewhere Between a few weeks back and I missed it! Never to fear though, faithful friend Netflix brought the film right to my door. Let me reiterate something I have said before in this space - I watch a lot of...

Oh The Blended Web…

With far too much happening on the web I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Here's a list of what I'm reading and thinking about this week. Last week I discovered this amazing resource and can't seem to stop perusing the...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #5 Make a New Friend

'Twas the night before school and all through the house not a child was stirring not even my preschooler. (To be honest I just put him to bed for the third time.) Its 0 days. No more days to prepare. Its - as my kids say – go time. Today we had our last and final Back...

Alpaca Hats

A few months ago while anticipating the arrival of another niece (horray!) I began thinking about what to make for the new family addition. If you are a knitter like me, you may have an overwhelming stash of yarn odds and ends. I was pleased to find in my stash the...

Honest Adoption Talk From My Six-Year-Old

A recent survey I received asked how often I talk about adoption with my child and where, most often, do these conversations occur. I assumed they were asking about my adopted child when they asked the question, but that day it struck me as the most inadequate...