The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Willing – Five Minute Friday

His sticky fingers curl around mine and pull. His head pushes into that soft space just below my ribs and I hear him exhale. Still I am unwilling to move or swivel my chair so he can climb up at my desk placing himself prominently between what I want to focus on and...

A Blended St. Patricks Day

A funny thing happened on St. Patrick’s Day. I realized with a jolt of happiness that my kids are comfortable in their individual ethnic identities. It was such a benign thing – sweet thing – funny thing that was happening for my girls that at first it didn’t...

The Value of a Birth Story

It wasn’t too long ago that I overheard this conversation between my girls in the kitchen: “Mommy has a baby in her tummy. And soon she is going to have to push it out!” My oldest said. “Oh. Hmmm. Like how she pushed you out?” Said my youngest. “No. But you grew in...

Pen Pal Stationary

After moving to the NorthWest over a year ago, I rediscovered the joy of Pen Pals through my daughter. She moved away from many friends who she now corresponds with over snailmail, email, and yes, even Moshi Monsters. But I will forever have a softspot in my heart for...

On Mourning

Over the weekend we had one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had with my children. Motivated by the horrific crime in Connecticut yes, but also the shooting at our local mall in Portland last week, and the recent lockdown at three of our local schools...

How to Beat the Lunch Box Blues

The Lunch Box. It is compared, critiqued and cherished. Here is my sister posing for her first day of school in 1976 and making certain that her beloved Winnie the Pooh lunch box was ALSO present in the picture. What is so funny is that there are a few more of these...

Accurate Family Portraits

Do you have a budding artist in your house? My oldest definitely is and its hard to keep her satisfied with art supplies. One of her biggest complaints is when she is rendering our family on paper. In her opinion, crayons and watercolors don't quite accurately display...

On Being Ambiguous

“Its nice that you are honoring her Korean roots so well. But you realize that there will come a day when all she’ll be in America is black.” Those words were spoken to me when my daughter was not quite three. They were powerful words then and now I’m seeing those...

Dinners Around the World – January

The response from my post about Dinners Around the World was wonderful! So many of you would like to join us in our spin around the globe and a reader suggested I post my weeklong dinner menu for all of you to join in the cooking, eating, and conversation. I am happy...

The Blended Life Turns Two and a Giveaway!

Parents have long heard the saying, "Enjoy your little ones while you can because time flies!" I can now apply that saying to blog writing as well. Time has flown by and here I sit typing two years into blogging The Blended Life. This year held rapid reader growth and...

5 Things Every Adoptive Parent Should Do At School

  Lately I have been talking to frustrated foster parents and adoptive parents alike. Most of their frustration stems from a lack of knowledge about adoption and foster care at their schools. While there may be one or two key instructors or administrators who...

Diversifying Your Shelves – Book Smitten

Book-smitten. A word I coined with my kids when we fall in love with a book. For me, that book must contribute to our bookshelf - in story, diversity, and beauty. The power of diversifying your bookshelf is found both in your children seeing themselves on the written...

Helping Boston

In difficult times like these my world shrinks with alarming speed. Boston can seem so far away from where I sit in Washington state, and yet for someone who lived on the Eastern seaboard for so many years, upon hearing the devastating news yesterday, that great city...

A Celebrated Blended Moment

It was an ordinary night at the dinner table. In fact we were eating one of January’s Indian dinners with the kids while looking at the map and talking about India’s neighboring countries. Our conversation migrated to talking about their friends East Indian heritage...