The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Where Are the Girls?

My girls have a new favorite book. Each is taking a turn reading it, considering, and then just like girls from Jersey, they talk amongst themselves. Grace for President by Kelly DiPucchio is a book about an African-American girl who upon studying the presidential...

In Praise of Adjectives

Adjectives, nouns, and verbs. Second grade begins to teach the navigation of words in the English language. My seven year old had no problem with nouns and verbs, but adjectives trouble her. As seen by this recent work assignment at school in which she assigned...

Books for Children

The following books have been tried and found trustworthy by me! They are part of my personal library and I recommend them for yours.             

A Blended Approved Read – “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?”

After the many responses to last week’s post I wanted to recommend a book this morning. Many of you had questions regarding the development of your own racial identity and questions about aiding in the development of your child’s identity. I have so appreciated each...

Interview with Sundee T. Frazier and a Giveaway!

Last week I reviewed Sundee T. Frazier’s The Other Half of My Heart which you can read here. This week I connected with her and she graciously agreed to an interview.  She answered questions about being multiracial in America, the impact of that personal identity on...

Games for Planes, Trains and Automobiles

I have been planning a little vacation around here and it comes with some serious time in the car. And while Car Bingo, Master of the Music, I Spy and an occasional movie gets us pretty far, it won't be far enough on this journey. So, I'm planning on bringing our iPad...

A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights

Last week my daughter came home from middle school full of energy and with a look on her face that I recognized. She had connected with someone at school in a significant way. But you know tweens, I didn't want to push too hard, so I began guessing in my head just who...

Perfect Posture

When I was a little girl my grandmother tried to work on my posture using the tried and true method of making me walk around the living room rigid with a book balanced precariously upon my head. In truth, it had little to no effect on my overall posture. However, it...

Deportation of Adoptees

In the past few weeks there has been a lot of hubbub in the news about adoption and in particular international adoptees. Sadly, those outside of the adoptive community have been given more cause to fear adoption than be proponents. But I would encourage you to...

That Pesky Family Tree

While helping my mother sort through a number of boxes that had been left untouched for years I stumbled across some old photographs that my great-grandmother Emma had placed in an album. By old, I do mean ancient. We gathered around them staring and squinting and...

My Adoptive Parenting Top 10 – Ten Years In The Making

My first baby turned 10 today. Ten. Perhaps it’s the double digits, or as we have taken to calling it here, The Decade Celebration, but I have been wandering around the house shaking my head that I have now been parenting for a decade. There is something significant...

Julie Chen – Just Plastic Surgery or Racism?

All weekend long my thoughts have been about Julie Chen. Initially last week I wanted to write a knee jerk response to her ‘secret’ revelation that at 25 years of age she had plastic surgery to make her eyes look ‘less Chinese.’ Julie Chen, one of the hosts of 'The...

A Blended Snapshot

Just a simple snapshot from life as a Blended family.

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #2 Authority

I am 19 days from the first day of school and am ready to have the second of my Must Have Back to School Chats with my kids. Today its about authority. Hopefully I have modeled what good authority looks like at home, but in the classroom and on the playground, there...

Honest Adoption Talk From My Six-Year-Old

A recent survey I received asked how often I talk about adoption with my child and where, most often, do these conversations occur. I assumed they were asking about my adopted child when they asked the question, but that day it struck me as the most inadequate...