On Blended Sisterhood

My favorite summer moment happened this morning between my girls.  I have written some about my girls in the past and how watching them grow into sisterhood is heartwarming for me. And yes, they have their moments and will continue to have them. And yes, I’m trying to let those moments be their moments so they grow in understanding of how to work out the kinks in their relationship without my interference.

It was in that vein that I was doing the dishes this morning privy to a conversation that was occurring within earshot. My five year old was exercising her right to free speech by telling my nine year old that she did not care for her hairstyle choice for this fine Friday morning. It is at this precise moment that you can find me at the sink muttering, “Do not interfere. Do not interfere.” My oldest calmly commented that it was her hair and her head and she would do what she likes. To which her sister replied, “Well, I just don’t like it. You don’t look like you. And I won’t be able to get used to it.” My oldest laughed and said, “Hello its still me! I’m your sister!” This made them both laugh a little and then that’s when my five year old said, “Nope. Today I have to find a new sister because my old one disappeared!” This made them laugh even harder and I ever so modestly gave myself a big high five for being a wise mother who did not interfere.

But she didn’t stop there. She continued with, ”I will find her today!” Oh no I thought, here we go. “My new sister will have brown skin like you. And dark brown eyes like yours. And dark wavy hair and, and, …..oh, forget it!” They laughed a little more and then left to get in the car for camp.

I stood with soapy hands at the sink smiling. What I found so fascinating about the criterion for her new sister was that she wouldn’t change a thing about her old one! She could have listed different criteria but did not and instead affirmed her allegiance and affection for her sister in a deep way. While my oldest interpreted her sister’s words as ‘I’m so unique and fabulous she can’t replace me,’ I interpreted her words as ‘You love your sister and wouldn’t change a thing.’ And that right there is true sisterhood.