The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Oh, The Blended Web

With the sun making it's first appearance here in some time, I am planning some outdoor fun for this family of mine. What are you doing this weekend?  Whatever you do, make some time to relax and enjoy a special curated list of articles and happenings just for Blended...

Dinners Around the World – January

The response from my post about Dinners Around the World was wonderful! So many of you would like to join us in our spin around the globe and a reader suggested I post my weeklong dinner menu for all of you to join in the cooking, eating, and conversation. I am happy...

A Beautiful Mess

Happy to be linking up with SheLoves Magazine today on their Heritage series.  We were in the basement of a teahouse. It was a blessed funky place, quiet and an almost secret space for the nine of us to meet. Each of us shared brief introductions; you know, the ones...

On ‘Saving Orphans’

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. I am happy to share this space today with my friend Amy Brownell. Amy is a fellow adoptive mama who also works in the...

A Blended Approved Read – “Wild About You!”

Our weekly trek to the library unearthed several books about dinosaurs and trucks of which I am certain you are not interested! I did however stumble upon a lovely new book that I wanted to share with you. In Wild About You! by Judy Sierra, we discovered a tender book...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #2 Authority

I am 19 days from the first day of school and am ready to have the second of my Must Have Back to School Chats with my kids. Today its about authority. Hopefully I have modeled what good authority looks like at home, but in the classroom and on the playground, there...

So Many Questions

Questions. Everyone seems to have questions. Questions about adoption, questions about being a multiracial family, questions about race, questions about why we adopted, when we adopted, how we adopted. There are times when I don’t mind and times that I’m tired of...

Love is Not Enough

It’s the opposite of our unfailing romantic, mama told me so, Hollywood movie notion of life. The idea that love is not enough in anything will shake us a bit. I suppose it’s a cultural notion stemming from the ‘love conquers all’ delirium. Not that I don’t still hold...

The Benefits of Open Adoption

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. I am happy to introduce you to Sarah Baker. Sarah is a fellow adoptive mom who blogs over at Cincinnati Parent Magazine...

On Women Heroes

It’s hot. And when it’s hot outside, my kids hibernate inside. My non-loving-reading ten-year-old becomes a reader when it’s sweltering. If I find the right book and the temperature hits the right degree, the only place for her is downstairs in the coolest room...

On Not Being Enough

"I am not enough." I winced when I heard her say those four words. My stomach clenched and I felt bad for her - for me. Then, there it was again, she repeated herself as if maybe her audience could not - would not - digest it the first time. For a mother to say that...

My Kids Have A Dream

  This morning after breakfast I lugged the iPad over to the table and pulled three chairs to one side, all while coaxing three very sleepy eyed kids to watch something important (no its not a cartoon). Just watch this I said (no its not a video of you). Its a...

Dinners Around the World – August

  My kids were so happy in July. The menu proved to be a delight and they looked forward to each meal and the discussions about Chinese culture. Now, in this hot and steamy end of summer month we move on to Brazil! August will prove interesting and fun as I am...

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! While December took me by storm, I have now resolved (thank you 2012) to get back to a regular writing schedule (hello blog, I've missed you). I hope you greeted 2012 with new hopes, new resolve, and new energy, as I have. And while December was busy I...

Belonging

Perhaps the greatest tenet of family is that you belong somewhere. I was reminded of this yesterday as I sat in my hair stylist’s chair and eavesdropped on the conversation beside me. The woman was describing her Caucasian suburban family in detail. Her parents, both...