The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Why I Read Essence (and you should too)

  Sometimes people do a double take. They see the overspill of magazines from my ‘magazine bin’ and turn back peering at the faces and names looking back at them from the covers. I have Portland Monthly in there yes, and my husband’s entrepreneurial rags espousing...

A Tractor Playground

Life in the Pacific Northwest is wet. This winter has also been cold and has kept my son, who loves the outdoors, inside. Creativity is spurred on by limits is it not? While my son longed for his near frozen sandbox in order to play with his new favorite mini tractor...

Conversations at the Grocery Store

I saw her in the dairy aisle. I say ‘saw’ because I quickly recognized myself in the frazzled, tired, need-a-nap mom as she fielded questions from her two little ones on either side of her cart while still managing to select the correct milk. I recognized the me in...

A Tale of Two Mommies

We were smack dab in the middle of the bedtime routine, deeply involved in the storied negotiations involving a grasshopper and an ant when my three-year-old son said, “Mommy, I’ve been thinking about something.” “About grasshoppers?” I asked. “No. About mommies.” He...

Family Trees

School projects for a Blended family are sometimes so very interesting. An example is the old grade school standby 'The Family Tree.' I have recently realized that that 'tree' will most likely be staring me down soon and I needed to find some creative school solutions...

The Blended Life Turns Two and a Giveaway!

Parents have long heard the saying, "Enjoy your little ones while you can because time flies!" I can now apply that saying to blog writing as well. Time has flown by and here I sit typing two years into blogging The Blended Life. This year held rapid reader growth and...

On Not Being Enough

"I am not enough." I winced when I heard her say those four words. My stomach clenched and I felt bad for her - for me. Then, there it was again, she repeated herself as if maybe her audience could not - would not - digest it the first time. For a mother to say that...

NPR and Transracial Adoption

Recently I wrote about NPR's exclusion of an adoptee's voice in a piece about Transracial Adoption. This past Sunday NPR did add the perspective of an adult transracial adoptee by interviewing Chad Goller-Sojourner. You may be familiar with his work in Riding in Cars...

Interview with Rhonda M. Roorda – Part 2

Earlier this week I posted Part 1 of a fascinating interview with Rhonda Roorda, author of In Their Siblings' Voices: White Non-Adopted Siblings Talk About Their Experiences Being Raised with Black and Biracial Brothers and Sisters. You can read Part 1 here. In this...

Calling All Cinema Lovers!

Ready to start your new year with great cinema? I discovered Watch Adoptee Films over the holiday and wanted to share this fabulous resource with Blended readers. Many of you have commented to me that neither your adoption agency or library own the films I have...

Adopted – a film by Barb Lee

  About a year ago I stumbled upon the website for the film Adopted. Sadly, I had not heard of it before and was intrigued by the premise of the movie and the complexities of transracial adoption in Blended families that they sought to explore. Unfortunately...

Oh, The Blended Web…

With far too much happening on the web I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Here's a list of what I'm reading and thinking about this week. In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.,  National Geographic Kids has a great set of...

Give a Welcome Box to a Child Entering Foster Care This Season

Our Advent Calendar was hung with great excitement and anticipation on November 30th. Each morning since the 1st of December my kids enter our kitchen with shuffling feet and sleepy eyes, awake only enough to search out if their siblings are also awake and then one of...

Accurate Family Portraits

Do you have a budding artist in your house? My oldest definitely is and its hard to keep her satisfied with art supplies. One of her biggest complaints is when she is rendering our family on paper. In her opinion, crayons and watercolors don't quite accurately display...

On Mourning

Over the weekend we had one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had with my children. Motivated by the horrific crime in Connecticut yes, but also the shooting at our local mall in Portland last week, and the recent lockdown at three of our local schools...