The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Why I Hate-Love “Jessie”

“Jessie” is a sitcom on the Disney Channel that debuted last fall. Have you seen it? It’s a familiar small town girl goes to the big city story. The character Jessie, played by Debby Ryan, then finds a job as nanny to a high-powered couple in Manhattan with four...

Blended Moments

The end of summer took me by surprise as being the busiest time I can remember. We had family commitments, vacations to take (albeit that was lovely, except the packing and unpacking), out of town visitors, school shopping and of course the pre-school meltdowns. Mixed...

Interview with Rhonda M. Roorda – Part 1

Last week I reviewed In Their Siblings' Voices by Rita J. Simon and Rhonda M. Roorda which you can read here. This week Rhonda graciously agreed to be interviewed and I think you'll find her insights invaluable to Blended Families. She talks openly about her own...

In Honor of Black History Month – Because Of Them We Can

Black History Month runs the entire month of February and I have already read far too many posts for and against Black History Month with the best being Aisha Harris over at Slate. Taking her advice I want to move beyond in order to learn more - and as usual I am...

My Recipe for a Happy Halloween (Beware, You Might Not Like It)

Creepy, crawly, horror, scary, gross, and an excuse for an inappropriate Halloween? Nope. No thank you. That's not for me. I think I actually turned that literal corner back when I was a third grader crawling through a friend's 'haunted house' they created on their...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #3 Race

Yes, I see all your first day of school pictures but I am still 13 days from our first day of school! So today I am having the third of my Must Have Back to School Chats with my kids. Today’s chat is about race. I write often here about talking with my kids about race...

Removed

So often our babes from foster care come with so many labels attached because of the trauma they have experienced. What we often fail to understand is that they WANT to revive connection, care, reciprocation, it's just such a long, long, way back. This is why Removed...

Dinners Around the World – January

The response from my post about Dinners Around the World was wonderful! So many of you would like to join us in our spin around the globe and a reader suggested I post my weeklong dinner menu for all of you to join in the cooking, eating, and conversation. I am happy...

Adding to your family through Embryo Adoption

I am often asked about Embryo Adoption (EA) and the addition of beautiful babes using EA to Blended families. I am no expert, so asked my friend Angela to write about her experience with EA and provide many of you with answers to your most common questions. I am...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #5 Make a New Friend

'Twas the night before school and all through the house not a child was stirring not even my preschooler. (To be honest I just put him to bed for the third time.) Its 0 days. No more days to prepare. Its - as my kids say – go time. Today we had our last and final Back...

Oh, The Blended Web…

  With far too much happening on the web I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Here's a list of what I'm reading and thinking about this week. Dr. Jane Aronson imagines a world without her children in response to the...

My Belated New Year’s Eve – Yesterday

Why, hello there Blended community. And Happy New Year! My delayed presence in this space has been caused by so very many things. Among them a series of illnesses that have left our New Year less than happy. Just yesterday my always intentional four-year-old grabbed...

Bonding and Attachment in Blended Families

I am so fortunate to know other Blended families who have walked the same path as my family and have the capacity to talk openly about their personal experiences. Today I introduce you to my friend Amy, who is both a mother of a Blended family and a social worker. I...

A Blended Approved Read – W.I.S.E. Up! Powerbook

I was reminded recently how helpful W.I.S.E. Up! Powerbook has been in our family life. When my daughter was around two I spoke at an Adoption Conference at Rutgers University in New Jersey. If you don't know this, let me tell you that the best thing at adoption...

Closure – a film

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Last night I had the privilege of screening Closure, a film by Bryan Tucker. Closure is a film about his wife Angela's...