The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Deportation of Adoptees

In the past few weeks there has been a lot of hubbub in the news about adoption and in particular international adoptees. Sadly, those outside of the adoptive community have been given more cause to fear adoption than be proponents. But I would encourage you to...

Dinners Around the World – October

Friends, we have been cooking together for nine months! Nine months of homemade kitchen discoveries and ultimate cuisine disaster. It has been fun, right? My kids look forward to each month and just what I will surprise them with (sometimes to their horror). All in...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

Calling All Cinema Lovers!

Ready to start your new year with great cinema? I discovered Watch Adoptee Films over the holiday and wanted to share this fabulous resource with Blended readers. Many of you have commented to me that neither your adoption agency or library own the films I have...

Throwback Thursday: The Value of a Birth Story

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Every Thursday in November in honor of National Adoption Month I will host Throwback Thursday here at The Blended Life....

Conversations at the Grocery Store

I saw her in the dairy aisle. I say ‘saw’ because I quickly recognized myself in the frazzled, tired, need-a-nap mom as she fielded questions from her two little ones on either side of her cart while still managing to select the correct milk. I recognized the me in...

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

My Recipe for a Happy Halloween (Beware, You Might Not Like It)

Creepy, crawly, horror, scary, gross, and an excuse for an inappropriate Halloween? Nope. No thank you. That's not for me. I think I actually turned that literal corner back when I was a third grader crawling through a friend's 'haunted house' they created on their...

Loving Day

In honor of the recent Cheerios commercial I am celebrating Loving Day today. June 12th is an annual celebration held on the anniversary of the 1967 United States Supreme Court decision Loving vs. Virginia. This decision legalized inter-racial marriage in the United...

Dinners Around the World – July

I may have made a serious misstep here. The kids listed China as one of the countries they wanted to learn more about but as July crept near, they began to order. As in, place their orders as if I were their personal Chinese take-out restaurant. After pushing a few...

Dinners Around the World – May

Last month's menu from Thailand was outstanding! (Wait a minute while I pat myself on the back.) My children ate, my husband ate, and we all learned a great deal about Thailand. If you missed cooking Chef Hong's Pad Thai recipe last month, put it on this week's menu...

Belonging

Perhaps the greatest tenet of family is that you belong somewhere. I was reminded of this yesterday as I sat in my hair stylist’s chair and eavesdropped on the conversation beside me. The woman was describing her Caucasian suburban family in detail. Her parents, both...

Crow, Hawk, and A Little Boy’s Pain

I was sitting in the hallway outside three classrooms overflowing with first graders. It was moments after morning exercise when it seems that the kids are most awake, engaged, and happy. Something about bopping along to 'Dynamite' together makes their brains release...

Adding to your family through Embryo Adoption

I am often asked about Embryo Adoption (EA) and the addition of beautiful babes using EA to Blended families. I am no expert, so asked my friend Angela to write about her experience with EA and provide many of you with answers to your most common questions. I am...

NPR and Transracial Adoption

Recently I wrote about NPR's exclusion of an adoptee's voice in a piece about Transracial Adoption. This past Sunday NPR did add the perspective of an adult transracial adoptee by interviewing Chad Goller-Sojourner. You may be familiar with his work in Riding in Cars...