The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Valuing the Adoptee Voice

Yesterday I asked my daughter about joining a tween adoptee group. The group gets together to watch movies, hang out, and debrief together both their adoption stories and their voices reflected in the movies and media around them. She jumped at the chance. “Mom, that...

Its Time to Talk With Our Kids About Race

The number one question I have been asked in the last three days is “Are you talking with your kids about Trayvon Martin?” My resounding answer is YES. Where could I go that they would not see the image of Trayvon looking back at them? They wanted to know who he was...

Boredom Buster Books for Kids

This morning I'm joining The Chaos and the Clutter and participating in their conversation about  Tender Moments with Toddlers and Preschoolers. It’s official. Summer is here! (And then alternately I say in my head summer is here.) Maybe you too are familiar with that...

A Blended Approved Read – “The Other Half of My Heart”

I am always on the look out for books that my oldest daughter can read that involve multiracial protagonists and/or viewpoints that she can identify with from a Blended family perspective. They are hard to find, but not impossible. This past fall I discovered my new...

Dinners Around the World – March

So, I have to ask. How did February go? Did your family enjoy Indian food? Let me tell you about our rocky journey through India. First, I made the Chicken Curry way too hot. Not just your meager, that's spicy -  way, way too hot. I was sweating. The kids went red in...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #1 Adoption

I am 26 days from the first day of school. 26 days from all three of my children going to school. Not just two – all three. Not that I am counting (never mind that giant calendar in my office that has red X’s through every day of August so far). I jest (a little), but...

Why I Taught My Girls To Say IF

I wrote this post back in May after hearing my girls playing, but did not publish it because I wondered if other parents would connect. In light of the Time article "The Childfree Life" back in August and the many fruitful discussions that have come from that piece I...

What I Would Say To You

Last week I had an interesting conversation. A writer friend asked me if she were a prospective parent considering adopting a multiracial child what would be the top three things I would say to her. In some ways this resonated with a recent talk I gave at Feast which...

10 Things I Have Learned About Blogging

Often I am asked about beginning a blog, sustaining a blog, or simply how to find the time to write at all. On the eve of Blended's blogaversary (that is the weirdest word ever) I have done a bit of reflection about both my writing life and more specifically, writing...

On Women Heroes

It’s hot. And when it’s hot outside, my kids hibernate inside. My non-loving-reading ten-year-old becomes a reader when it’s sweltering. If I find the right book and the temperature hits the right degree, the only place for her is downstairs in the coolest room...

The Mother’s Day Bruhaha

Every year as May rolls around I hear and read the same old things from those in the adoption community. For those unaware, May holds both Mother's Day and Birthmother's Day, separated only by one day. There are those in the adoption community that feel passionate...

The Blended Life Turns Two and a Giveaway!

Parents have long heard the saying, "Enjoy your little ones while you can because time flies!" I can now apply that saying to blog writing as well. Time has flown by and here I sit typing two years into blogging The Blended Life. This year held rapid reader growth and...

Books for Children

The following books have been tried and found trustworthy by me! They are part of my personal library and I recommend them for yours.             

Why I Read Essence (and you should too)

  Sometimes people do a double take. They see the overspill of magazines from my ‘magazine bin’ and turn back peering at the faces and names looking back at them from the covers. I have Portland Monthly in there yes, and my husband’s entrepreneurial rags espousing...

My Belated New Year’s Eve – Yesterday

Why, hello there Blended community. And Happy New Year! My delayed presence in this space has been caused by so very many things. Among them a series of illnesses that have left our New Year less than happy. Just yesterday my always intentional four-year-old grabbed...