The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Helping Boston

In difficult times like these my world shrinks with alarming speed. Boston can seem so far away from where I sit in Washington state, and yet for someone who lived on the Eastern seaboard for so many years, upon hearing the devastating news yesterday, that great city...

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

That Pesky Family Tree

While helping my mother sort through a number of boxes that had been left untouched for years I stumbled across some old photographs that my great-grandmother Emma had placed in an album. By old, I do mean ancient. We gathered around them staring and squinting and...

Diagnosing an Advanced Reader in 8 Easy Steps

I have a problem. Some say it’s a good problem, but it has become all consuming. Keeping my six-year-old in books. Teachers and instructors call these kids ‘Advanced Readers.’ Perhaps one lives at your house. Here are 8 easy signs that this kind of person resides at...

World Adoption Day, National Adoption Month, & Flip the Script

November is National Adoption Month. Every year the month of November creates awareness of the need for adoptive families for children in foster care. Since its formation in the 1990s, National Adoption Month has grown into an all encompassing recognition of adoption,...

Boredom Buster Books for Kids

This morning I'm joining The Chaos and the Clutter and participating in their conversation about  Tender Moments with Toddlers and Preschoolers. It’s official. Summer is here! (And then alternately I say in my head summer is here.) Maybe you too are familiar with that...

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! While December took me by storm, I have now resolved (thank you 2012) to get back to a regular writing schedule (hello blog, I've missed you). I hope you greeted 2012 with new hopes, new resolve, and new energy, as I have. And while December was busy I...

Why I Read Essence (and you should too)

  Sometimes people do a double take. They see the overspill of magazines from my ‘magazine bin’ and turn back peering at the faces and names looking back at them from the covers. I have Portland Monthly in there yes, and my husband’s entrepreneurial rags espousing...

So Many Questions

Questions. Everyone seems to have questions. Questions about adoption, questions about being a multiracial family, questions about race, questions about why we adopted, when we adopted, how we adopted. There are times when I don’t mind and times that I’m tired of...

Pen Pal Stationary

After moving to the NorthWest over a year ago, I rediscovered the joy of Pen Pals through my daughter. She moved away from many friends who she now corresponds with over snailmail, email, and yes, even Moshi Monsters. But I will forever have a softspot in my heart for...

Wise Words from Rhonda Roorda

Celebrate Adoption in Ohio is hosting Rhonda Roorda Saturday, February 4, 2012 in a workshop entitled “The Best of Transracial Adoption: The Long-Term and Inclusive Vision.” Ms. Roorda is an adult adoptee who has authored books on transracial adoption, including In...

Oh, The Blended Web…

What are you doing this weekend? I am finishing Halloween costumes and picking pumpkins with these fall-minded kiddos of mine. What could be more fun than climbing in apple crates, over hay bales and getting lost in the corn maze? But after that I need to relax a...

Diversifying Your Home

I have had some recent conversations with single ethnic families who have asked me to help them diversify their home. I found this so interesting and wonderful and so decided to blog about how to take steps to accomplish this. It’s not rocket science, but just...

What I Would Say To You

Last week I had an interesting conversation. A writer friend asked me if she were a prospective parent considering adopting a multiracial child what would be the top three things I would say to her. In some ways this resonated with a recent talk I gave at Feast which...

Why You Should Not Fear Adoption from Foster Care

When I met my daughter for the first time she was almost three months old. She was wearing a pink baby onesie with bloomers and on her tiny feet she wore socks with pink scrolling letters that said "I love my Mommy." She had that baby fresh smell and as she was placed...