The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Interview with Sundee T. Frazier and a Giveaway!

Last week I reviewed Sundee T. Frazier’s The Other Half of My Heart which you can read here. This week I connected with her and she graciously agreed to an interview.  She answered questions about being multiracial in America, the impact of that personal identity on...

Happily Home Again

The Marina Bay Sands Resort - Singapore   Thank you Blended readers for all the well wishes for our trip to Singapore! My daughter and I are fully recovered from jet lag and ready for re-entry into summer. I have thought about what I appreciated most about being...

Perfect Posture

When I was a little girl my grandmother tried to work on my posture using the tried and true method of making me walk around the living room rigid with a book balanced precariously upon my head. In truth, it had little to no effect on my overall posture. However, it...

Calling All Cinema Lovers!

Ready to start your new year with great cinema? I discovered Watch Adoptee Films over the holiday and wanted to share this fabulous resource with Blended readers. Many of you have commented to me that neither your adoption agency or library own the films I have...

It’s a Love Thing

A few weeks after giving birth to my youngest daughter I bravely ventured out to rejoin my mommy and me group, taking along my newborn and my oldest daughter. I sat down to a brunch and began chit chatting with the ladies around the table as they cooed over my new...

The Value of a Birth Story

It wasn’t too long ago that I overheard this conversation between my girls in the kitchen: “Mommy has a baby in her tummy. And soon she is going to have to push it out!” My oldest said. “Oh. Hmmm. Like how she pushed you out?” Said my youngest. “No. But you grew in...

Throwback Thursday: My Adoptive Parenting Top 10

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Every Thursday in November in honor of National Adoption Month I will host Throwback Thursday here at The Blended Life....

Helping Kids Through Trauma

The Blended Life has been quiet for the past month due to a serious accident in our family. All my time and strength has been invested solely on the home front to aid in the healing of my husband. As I look up from an intensely emotional and trying time I find that...

Wise Words from Rhonda Roorda

Celebrate Adoption in Ohio is hosting Rhonda Roorda Saturday, February 4, 2012 in a workshop entitled “The Best of Transracial Adoption: The Long-Term and Inclusive Vision.” Ms. Roorda is an adult adoptee who has authored books on transracial adoption, including In...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – #1 Adoption

I am 26 days from the first day of school. 26 days from all three of my children going to school. Not just two – all three. Not that I am counting (never mind that giant calendar in my office that has red X’s through every day of August so far). I jest (a little), but...

Adding to your family through Embryo Adoption

I am often asked about Embryo Adoption (EA) and the addition of beautiful babes using EA to Blended families. I am no expert, so asked my friend Angela to write about her experience with EA and provide many of you with answers to your most common questions. I am...

When Hair is Threatening

    Back in September my oldest daughter and I were listening to the news in the car when we heard about Tiana Parker. A seven-year-old excluded from school for lacking 'presentable' hair. We learned that little Ms. Parker's 'unpresentable hair' was dreads...

Oh, The Blended Web…

What are you doing this weekend? I am finishing Halloween costumes and picking pumpkins with these fall-minded kiddos of mine. What could be more fun than climbing in apple crates, over hay bales and getting lost in the corn maze? But after that I need to relax a...

Why I Taught My Girls To Say IF

I wrote this post back in May after hearing my girls playing, but did not publish it because I wondered if other parents would connect. In light of the Time article "The Childfree Life" back in August and the many fruitful discussions that have come from that piece I...

Belonging

Perhaps the greatest tenet of family is that you belong somewhere. I was reminded of this yesterday as I sat in my hair stylist’s chair and eavesdropped on the conversation beside me. The woman was describing her Caucasian suburban family in detail. Her parents, both...