The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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The Blended Life Turns Three

Blended celebrated three years in the blogosphere this week! Three whole years since I thought, "You know I don’t read any dedicated blogs for multiracial Blended families" and then had the crazy idea of beginning one. Three years of blogging during naps, blogging...

Julie Chen – Just Plastic Surgery or Racism?

All weekend long my thoughts have been about Julie Chen. Initially last week I wanted to write a knee jerk response to her ‘secret’ revelation that at 25 years of age she had plastic surgery to make her eyes look ‘less Chinese.’ Julie Chen, one of the hosts of 'The...

Removed

So often our babes from foster care come with so many labels attached because of the trauma they have experienced. What we often fail to understand is that they WANT to revive connection, care, reciprocation, it's just such a long, long, way back. This is why Removed...

A Blended Approved Read – “In Their Siblings’ Voices”

For some time I have admired Rhonda Roorda from afar as documented in this post. She speaks and writes in a way that is thoughtful and truthful and her honesty is refreshing. So it was with joy that I finally picked up and devoured her book In Their Siblings' Voices....

Summer Tans and Free Time

Oh my – summer is finally here! Its only the third full week of summer, but it seems to be whizzing by at record speed. My family kicked it off with out of town visitors, Vacation Bible School, a trip to the beach, and constant SWIMMING!  And again this summer the...

Dinners Around the World – November

In 1986, at the very grown-up age of 14, I was proud to be chosen as part of the 4-H International Youth Exchange with Japan. For several weeks we lived with a family, learned about Japanese culture and then participated alongside our 4-H/Labo counterparts at camp. I...

10 Simple Things To Do For Bio Kids

At Blended I am firmly committed to growing and investing in our families as a whole – adoptive and bio kids together. In certain seasons of life it can seem that adoption milestones and issues take much of my mental steam. I process, prepare, gather resources,...

My Adoptive Parenting Top 10 – Ten Years In The Making

My first baby turned 10 today. Ten. Perhaps it’s the double digits, or as we have taken to calling it here, The Decade Celebration, but I have been wandering around the house shaking my head that I have now been parenting for a decade. There is something significant...

Alpaca Hats

A few months ago while anticipating the arrival of another niece (horray!) I began thinking about what to make for the new family addition. If you are a knitter like me, you may have an overwhelming stash of yarn odds and ends. I was pleased to find in my stash the...

Dinners Around the World – October

Friends, we have been cooking together for nine months! Nine months of homemade kitchen discoveries and ultimate cuisine disaster. It has been fun, right? My kids look forward to each month and just what I will surprise them with (sometimes to their horror). All in...

Boredom Buster Books for Kids

This morning I'm joining The Chaos and the Clutter and participating in their conversation about  Tender Moments with Toddlers and Preschoolers. It’s official. Summer is here! (And then alternately I say in my head summer is here.) Maybe you too are familiar with that...

{Re}Connecting with a Birthparent

I am happy to share this space today with my friend Sara Specter. Sara is a fellow adoptive mama and part of the greater Blended community. As part of an open adoption I have been amazed at the lengths Sara goes to in order to stay in touch with her daughter's...

Adding to your family through Embryo Adoption

I am often asked about Embryo Adoption (EA) and the addition of beautiful babes using EA to Blended families. I am no expert, so asked my friend Angela to write about her experience with EA and provide many of you with answers to your most common questions. I am...

Many Mothers on Mother’s Day

I can still connect to the deep sense of loss and pain I felt waiting years to become a mother. And after years of feeling tremendous heartache, I then finally felt the joy and wonder at becoming a mother for the first time, and then the second time, and then the...

Dinners Around the World

I despise New Year’s resolutions. My experience is that people make these ‘resolutions’ flippantly and without any real, um, resolve. A few years back I was at a New Year’s Eve party and they took time out of the toasting and dancing to create a pie chart (a pie...