The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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A Blended Snapshot

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Beginning a weekly ritual here in an attempt to share small moments from The Blended Life. Just a simple snapshot from...

Family Trees

School projects for a Blended family are sometimes so very interesting. An example is the old grade school standby 'The Family Tree.' I have recently realized that that 'tree' will most likely be staring me down soon and I needed to find some creative school solutions...

Bonding and Attachment in Blended Families – Part 2

I am so fortunate to know other Blended families who have walked the same path as my family and have the capacity to talk openly about their personal experiences. My friend Amy, who is both a mother of a Blended family and a social worker, shares her continuing...

You Are Different

It’s funny what strikes someone as different. For our family as we’ve moved from the east coast to the west coast, the issues of being different are crystal clear. We’ve struggled with the west coast ‘friendliness’, which we interpreted as nosiness before we realized...

Where Are the Girls?

My girls have a new favorite book. Each is taking a turn reading it, considering, and then just like girls from Jersey, they talk amongst themselves. Grace for President by Kelly DiPucchio is a book about an African-American girl who upon studying the presidential...

Science and Engineering Gift Ideas for Tween Girls

Image from GS Blog ELEVEN. My oldest turned ELEVEN last week. And because of this milestone birthday – as she is calling it – I started looking around at the toys in our house a bit differently. Clearly, times are changing. Always interested in building, creating, and...

Diversifying Your Home – Part 3

  Our family makes no secret about how much we love and yearn to travel. In fact, every spare penny usually goes toward the expense of getting some or all of us somewhere else. It is in this vein that I will travel with my “always have your passport ready”...

A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights

Last week my daughter came home from middle school full of energy and with a look on her face that I recognized. She had connected with someone at school in a significant way. But you know tweens, I didn't want to push too hard, so I began guessing in my head just who...

Oh, The Blended Web…

With far too much happening on the web (and in my life as I head into Spring Break) I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Here’s a list of what I’m reading and thinking about this week. First, a huge congratulations to the...

So Many Questions

Questions. Everyone seems to have questions. Questions about adoption, questions about being a multiracial family, questions about race, questions about why we adopted, when we adopted, how we adopted. There are times when I don’t mind and times that I’m tired of...

Diversifying Your Home – Part 2

My middle daughter is a self-proclaimed chef. She enjoys being in the kitchen, wearing her apron, and helping in whatever way she can. I think to some degree all kids love to get in the kitchen and have new experiences with utensils and to see what Mommy or Daddy...

Pen Pal Stationary

After moving to the NorthWest over a year ago, I rediscovered the joy of Pen Pals through my daughter. She moved away from many friends who she now corresponds with over snailmail, email, and yes, even Moshi Monsters. But I will forever have a softspot in my heart for...

The Blended Life Turns Three

Blended celebrated three years in the blogosphere this week! Three whole years since I thought, "You know I don’t read any dedicated blogs for multiracial Blended families" and then had the crazy idea of beginning one. Three years of blogging during naps, blogging...

{Re}Connecting with a Birthparent

I am happy to share this space today with my friend Sara Specter. Sara is a fellow adoptive mama and part of the greater Blended community. As part of an open adoption I have been amazed at the lengths Sara goes to in order to stay in touch with her daughter's...

Dinners Around the World – October

Friends, we have been cooking together for nine months! Nine months of homemade kitchen discoveries and ultimate cuisine disaster. It has been fun, right? My kids look forward to each month and just what I will surprise them with (sometimes to their horror). All in...