The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

Subscribe via Email

Adding to your family through Embryo Adoption

I am often asked about Embryo Adoption (EA) and the addition of beautiful babes using EA to Blended families. I am no expert, so asked my friend Angela to write about her experience with EA and provide many of you with answers to your most common questions. I am...

Blended at Feast

Recently I had the honor of speaking at FEAST, a program offered by First Presbyterian Church in Vancouver, Washington. It is a community event at which they have dinner together and then learn together around a given topic. It was a joy for me to share about the...

Somewhere Between – a film

Adoption Mosaic in Portland hosted a free screening of Somewhere Between a few weeks back and I missed it! Never to fear though, faithful friend Netflix brought the film right to my door. Let me reiterate something I have said before in this space - I watch a lot of...

Bereavement, Being Black, and Back to School

  The day of Michael Brown’s funeral I stood in the bereavement card aisle. My three children danced and swirled about me pulling open cards that loudly played “We Are the Champions” or “Celebration” as I stood frozen, hands sweaty, with a card that read ‘We lost...

Belonging

Perhaps the greatest tenet of family is that you belong somewhere. I was reminded of this yesterday as I sat in my hair stylist’s chair and eavesdropped on the conversation beside me. The woman was describing her Caucasian suburban family in detail. Her parents, both...

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

On Not Being Enough

"I am not enough." I winced when I heard her say those four words. My stomach clenched and I felt bad for her - for me. Then, there it was again, she repeated herself as if maybe her audience could not - would not - digest it the first time. For a mother to say that...

Boredom Buster Sites for Kids

A few weeks ago I was featured over at The Chaos and The Clutter for my Boredom Buster Books post. I wanted to follow that piece with some amazing websites that will also engage, encourage and spur creativity in your kids this summer. These sites are basically like...

Becoming Families – Forever

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. Tomorrow is National Adoption Day! The annual one day event that has finalized over 44,500 adoptions. I have heard from...

Everyday Bread

One of the biggest changes we made when we discovered our son was allergic to preservatives in our everyday food, was change our everyday bread. We could no longer purchase bread at the grocery store because of all the chemicals in each loaf, and the all natural...

Blended Moments

The end of summer took me by surprise as being the busiest time I can remember. We had family commitments, vacations to take (albeit that was lovely, except the packing and unpacking), out of town visitors, school shopping and of course the pre-school meltdowns. Mixed...

My Kids Have A Dream

  This morning after breakfast I lugged the iPad over to the table and pulled three chairs to one side, all while coaxing three very sleepy eyed kids to watch something important (no its not a cartoon). Just watch this I said (no its not a video of you). Its a...

Diversifying Your Home

I have had some recent conversations with single ethnic families who have asked me to help them diversify their home. I found this so interesting and wonderful and so decided to blog about how to take steps to accomplish this. It’s not rocket science, but just...

Dinners Around the World – May

Last month's menu from Thailand was outstanding! (Wait a minute while I pat myself on the back.) My children ate, my husband ate, and we all learned a great deal about Thailand. If you missed cooking Chef Hong's Pad Thai recipe last month, put it on this week's menu...

A Blended St. Patricks Day

A funny thing happened on St. Patrick’s Day. I realized with a jolt of happiness that my kids are comfortable in their individual ethnic identities. It was such a benign thing – sweet thing – funny thing that was happening for my girls that at first it didn’t...