The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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When the Mundane Leads to Big Questions

Yesterday the girls and I were at the grocery store. I find the grocery shopping so monotonous and grueling that I always beg my girls for company and miraculously both agreed to come! We chitchatted through the store as the girls spotted things that looked delicious...

Blended Moments

The end of summer took me by surprise as being the busiest time I can remember. We had family commitments, vacations to take (albeit that was lovely, except the packing and unpacking), out of town visitors, school shopping and of course the pre-school meltdowns. Mixed...

Spring Break Staycation

My expectations have always been set fairly high for spring break vacation. This year I wanted to flee south for spring break. To sip something beachside and watch my kids play in the surf. But my husband went east and we stayed put. No sipping, no surf. {Let's all...

The New American Family

This blog entry is part self confession. I must admit that when American Idol first debuted, I liked it. Well, I more than liked it – I looked forward to watching. But after a season or two the show wore on me and I stopped watching. A few weeks ago I saw a commercial...

Oh The Blended Web…

November is National Adoption Month in which we remember the over 101,000 children waiting in foster care and hoping for placement with families. What are you up to this weekend? It's rainy and gray in the NW (surprise!) so my girls are plotting and planning...

Why I Taught My Girls To Say IF

I wrote this post back in May after hearing my girls playing, but did not publish it because I wondered if other parents would connect. In light of the Time article "The Childfree Life" back in August and the many fruitful discussions that have come from that piece I...

Summer Tans and Free Time

Oh my – summer is finally here! Its only the third full week of summer, but it seems to be whizzing by at record speed. My family kicked it off with out of town visitors, Vacation Bible School, a trip to the beach, and constant SWIMMING!  And again this summer the...

The Transitioning Plate

The smell of bread baking is almost an everyday occurrence in our home. But to my children’s friends, it’s the smell of a magical world come to life! I laugh every time one of their friends says, “Your mom makes bread?!” I remember well the scents of my grandmother’s...

When Hair is Threatening

    Back in September my oldest daughter and I were listening to the news in the car when we heard about Tiana Parker. A seven-year-old excluded from school for lacking 'presentable' hair. We learned that little Ms. Parker's 'unpresentable hair' was dreads...

On Blended Sisterhood

My favorite summer moment happened this morning between my girls.  I have written some about my girls in the past and how watching them grow into sisterhood is heartwarming for me. And yes, they have their moments and will continue to have them. And yes, I’m trying to...

A Tale of Two Mommies

We were smack dab in the middle of the bedtime routine, deeply involved in the storied negotiations involving a grasshopper and an ant when my three-year-old son said, “Mommy, I’ve been thinking about something.” “About grasshoppers?” I asked. “No. About mommies.” He...

When 2014 Seems Like 1944 – The Japanese Internment Camps

She came home in a huff, dropped her backpack by the bench and slumped into the oversized threadbare blue chair in the living room. I know enough to leave her alone for a bit when she’s like this because she’s working something out. She sits quietly in the corner...

Two Must See Adoption Themed Films

You will find here at Blended many reviews about books, TV, tools, and films for adoptive families. I try to only point to those that have been most helpful to me, or those that have the most universal appeal and are high quality. Currently there are two films, one...

Family Trees

School projects for a Blended family are sometimes so very interesting. An example is the old grade school standby 'The Family Tree.' I have recently realized that that 'tree' will most likely be staring me down soon and I needed to find some creative school solutions...

Blended at Feast

Recently I had the honor of speaking at FEAST, a program offered by First Presbyterian Church in Vancouver, Washington. It is a community event at which they have dinner together and then learn together around a given topic. It was a joy for me to share about the...