The Blended Life

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Encouraging Multiracial Identity

Two things that are of utmost importance to me as a transracial adoptive parent are learning from adult adoptees and gathering tools for my child that encourage her identity. That's why when I read Sharon H. Chang's article "Why Mixed with White isn't White" over at...

Words

Words

  Words. I recall this saying, Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. It was a lie. In the adoption world, especially in the transracial adoption world, words hurt. Intentional words meant to alienate, separate, and ‘other’ my family....

Participate

Participate

Yesterday my kindergartner came home after a discussion about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at school and had questions. I was busy making dinner, answering questions about homework requirements, checking in about tutoring sessions, and listening to voicemail – you know...

Waiting for Truth

Waiting for Truth

On December 9th I began drafting a response to the situation in Ferguson, to the denigration of black bodies, to the growing and needed conversation of race and racism in America, to the inevitable link between transracial adoption and racism. The conversation was on...

The Best Reads from NAM

The Best Reads from NAM

National Adoption Month is over. The month of November can so often be a mixed bag of emotion for adoptees and adoptive families. There seems to be an unending circle critiquing one another about being too positive, not real enough, too negative, sugar-coating, or...

The Truth in Your DNA

  Her words hit me in the gut. “Mom, I don’t care if it’s my birthday and Christmas presents for the next five years. The greatest gift I could ever receive is knowing who I am.” My daughter is talking about a DNA test. Over the summer we had hoped the state...

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Dinners Around the World – October

Friends, we have been cooking together for nine months! Nine months of homemade kitchen discoveries and ultimate cuisine disaster. It has been fun, right? My kids look forward to each month and just what I will surprise them with (sometimes to their horror). All in...

10 Things I Have Learned About Blogging

Often I am asked about beginning a blog, sustaining a blog, or simply how to find the time to write at all. On the eve of Blended's blogaversary (that is the weirdest word ever) I have done a bit of reflection about both my writing life and more specifically, writing...

Dinners Around the World – April

Remember when I said that Dinners Around the World was a New Year’s Resolution goal for the new year? I am fully embracing my goal rhetoric because I find myself in mid-April with a family who has just recovered from a week of the stomach flu yet still delirious with...

Love is Not Enough

It’s the opposite of our unfailing romantic, mama told me so, Hollywood movie notion of life. The idea that love is not enough in anything will shake us a bit. I suppose it’s a cultural notion stemming from the ‘love conquers all’ delirium. Not that I don’t still hold...

Somewhere Between – a film

Adoption Mosaic in Portland hosted a free screening of Somewhere Between a few weeks back and I missed it! Never to fear though, faithful friend Netflix brought the film right to my door. Let me reiterate something I have said before in this space - I watch a lot of...

Oh, The Blended Web…

With far too much happening on the web I curated a special list of articles and happenings just for Blended readers. Here's a list of what I'm reading and thinking about this week. In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr.,  National Geographic Kids has a great set of...

A Blended St. Patricks Day

A funny thing happened on St. Patrick’s Day. I realized with a jolt of happiness that my kids are comfortable in their individual ethnic identities. It was such a benign thing – sweet thing – funny thing that was happening for my girls that at first it didn’t...

Adopted – a film by Barb Lee

  About a year ago I stumbled upon the website for the film Adopted. Sadly, I had not heard of it before and was intrigued by the premise of the movie and the complexities of transracial adoption in Blended families that they sought to explore. Unfortunately...

A Transracially-Adopted Child’s Bill of Rights

Last week my daughter came home from middle school full of energy and with a look on her face that I recognized. She had connected with someone at school in a significant way. But you know tweens, I didn't want to push too hard, so I began guessing in my head just who...

Dinners Around the World

I despise New Year’s resolutions. My experience is that people make these ‘resolutions’ flippantly and without any real, um, resolve. A few years back I was at a New Year’s Eve party and they took time out of the toasting and dancing to create a pie chart (a pie...

The Transitioning Plate

The smell of bread baking is almost an everyday occurrence in our home. But to my children’s friends, it’s the smell of a magical world come to life! I laugh every time one of their friends says, “Your mom makes bread?!” I remember well the scents of my grandmother’s...

A Letter To Those Who Exhaust Me

Dear State of Florida, The Onion, The Lady at Trader Joes, and Clerk at JCPenney, Oh my. I am having a mixed bag emotional day. So many things to think about this morning and to attempt to process and most of it leaving me a bit on the hopeless and angry side. First,...

Five Must Have Back to School Chats – # 4 How to be a Friend

I’m a heart-pounding 9 days away from the first day of school. We have procured new shoes for gym, replaced high-water pants with new ones and are now sporting newly shorn heads – what remains? Two more chats. And these chats center on friendship. One thing maybe you...

Blended One Year Later And Giveaway!

Today I celebrate the one year anniversary of Blended. I am so grateful to all of my faithful readers who have been with me since the beginning of Blended and am honored that this blog has gained such a wide audience not only in the adoption world but also with...

Diversifying Your Home – Part 2

My middle daughter is a self-proclaimed chef. She enjoys being in the kitchen, wearing her apron, and helping in whatever way she can. I think to some degree all kids love to get in the kitchen and have new experiences with utensils and to see what Mommy or Daddy...